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Page 2
A MODERN SCIENTIFIC DISCUSSION.
_Miss Fanny_ (_a gentle and most veracious Child_). "YAH! YOU CRUEL
COWARD! YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS SKINNED A LIVE FROG!"
_Master Victor_ (_an industrious but very touchy little Boy_). "YOU'RE
A LIAR! THE FROG WAS DEAD, AND _YOU KNOW IT!_"
_Miss Fanny._ "BOOHOO! WHETHER IT WAS DEAD OR NOT, YOU'VE GOT NO RIGHT
TO CALL NAMES; 'COS I'M A GIRL, AND CAN'T PUNCH YOUR HEAD!"
_Master Victor._ "IT'S JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE A GIRL THAT _I_ CAN'T
PUNCH _YOURS_! YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE YOU CALLED ME A
COWARD!"]
* * * * *
[Illustration: THE CABINET MEET.]
* * * * *
[Illustration: A BUCKJUMPERISH SENSATION.
[It is rumoured that some of BUFFALO BILL's Broncos have been
bought by the Cab Proprietors of London.]
_Cabby._ "SIT STILL, SIR! THIS AIN'T NOTHIN' TO WOT 'E _CAN_ DO.
YOU'LL SEE 'IM TURN 'EAD OVER 'EELS PRESENTLY!"]
* * * * *
A QUESTION OF POLICE;
_OR, WHAT IT MAY COME TO._
SCENE--_Trafalgar Square just before sunset. Police in
abundance; number of Processionists in various parts of the
open space seen to be dispersing._
_Police Inspector._ Now, my good friends, I am going to be as polite
as possible, but I must obey the regulations of the Commissioners of
Her Majesty's Works and Public Buildings. And I say you cannot speak,
because you have not given proper notice to the authorities.
_First Orator._ But I have--I tell you I wrote to the Commissioner
four days ago.
_Pol. In._ Oh, did you? Then that of course alters the case. What are
you, Sir?
_First Or._ I am the "Friends of the Horny Hands of Labour."
_Pol. In._ (_after referring to note-book_). Ah, I _thought_ I was
right. Your application came in second, Sir--the "Decayed Washerwomen"
got in before you. Look here. (_Pointing out regulation._) "Not more
than one Meeting shall be allowed at the same time, and if notices of
two or more Meetings are given for the same day, preference shall be
given to that Meeting of which notice shall have been first received."
So you see, Sir, you are not in it. Better luck next time. There is
another Bank Holiday six months hence.
_First Or._ But the "Decayed Washerwomen" are not here, and I--
_Pol. In._ Very sorry. Sir, but you must move on. (First Orator
_disappears with grumbling followers_.) I say, BILL, I do really think
these regulations are working quite pleasantly.
_Bill_ (_a subordinate_). Yes, Sir.
_Second Orator._ (_entering hurriedly, accompanied by some aged
females_). Here, I say, where are we to make speeches?
_Pol. In._ (_genially_). Nowhere, unless you have the proper
authority. Who may you be when you are at home?
_Second Or._ (_fussily_). Why, the "Decayed Washerwomen," to be sure.
Now, look sharp, and find us a place to deliver speeches. You know you
_must_ do it, by order of the--
_Pol. In._ Yes, I know. Well, what do you say to the top of that
lamp-post?
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