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Page 1
***
Mr. LLOYD GEORGE, we read, makes a study of handwriting. The only
objection that _The Times_ has to this habit is that he positively
refuses to notice the writing on the wall.
***
It is rumoured that the Government will construct an experimental
tunnel between England and the United States in order (1) to cement
Anglo-American friendship, and (2) to ascertain if the Channel Tunnel
is practicable.
***
Dr. C.W. COLBY, head of the Department of History, has taken Sir
AUCLAND GEDDES' place as Principal of McGill University. The report
that Sir AUCKLAND will reciprocate by taking a place in history awaits
confirmation.
***
"It is quite usual nowadays," a well-known auctioneer states, "for
mill hands to keep a few orchids." We understand that by way of a
counter-stroke a number of noblemen are threatening to go in for
runner ducks.
***
A Rotherham couple who have just celebrated their diamond wedding have
never tasted medicine. We ourselves have always maintained that the
taste is an acquired one.
***
A Greenland falcon has been shot in the Orkneys. The view is widely
taken that the wretched bird, which must have known it wasn't in
Greenland, brought the trouble on itself.
***
An alleged anarchist arrested in Munich was identified as a poet and
found Not Guilty--not guilty, that is to say, of being an anarchist.
***
With reference to the pending retirement of Mr. ROBERT SMILLIE from
the Presidency of the Miners' Federation, it appears that there is
talk of arranging a farewell strike.
***
The _Berlin Vorwaerts_ states that ex-Emperor CARL has been discovered
in Hungary under an assumed name. The Hungarian authorities say that
unless he is claimed within three days he will be sold to defray
expenses.
***
We understand that Mr. Justice DARLING'S weekly denial of the reports
of his retirement will in future be issued on Tuesdays, instead of
Wednesdays, as hitherto.
***
When hit by a bullet a tiger roars until dead, says a weekly paper,
but a tigress dies quietly. Nervous people who suffer from headaches
should therefore only shoot tigresses.
***
Two out of ten houses being built at Guildford are now complete.
Builders in other parts of the country are asking who gave the word
"Go."
***
"Marvellous to relate," says a Sunday paper, "a horse has just died
at Ingatestone at the age of thirty-six." Surely it is more marvellous
that it did not die before.
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