Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 152, May 23, 1917 by Various


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Page 2

***

Following so closely upon the report that a Wallasey woman had
discovered a German coin in a loaf of bread we were not surprised by a
contemporary headline, "Seymour Hicks in a new Rôle."

***

Damage to the extent of twenty-five thousand pounds is said to have
been caused to the crops in Australia by mice, and the Australian
authorities contemplate the purchase of a mouse trap.

* * * * *


[Illustration: _Economist_ (_soliloquising_). "WE MUST ALL DENY
OURSELVES SOMETHING. AND TO THINK, DESPITE THE PAPER SHORTAGE, PEOPLE
ARE STILL SMOKING CIGARETTES."]

* * * * *

AN IRISH SETTLEMENT.

"Miss----, who elected to serve fourteen days' imprisonment
rather than pay a fine for an alleged assault arising out of
a little commotion in Cork, was, on her release from prison,
presented with a gold mounted umbrella in compensation for
the one she broke on a policeman's head."--_Evening Herald_
(_Dublin_).

In view of the admission in the last sentence, "alleged" is good.

* * * * *

"New York, Friday.--An elaborate programme of welcome will
be escorted to the City Hall, which has been prepared. The
British Mission has been strikingly decorated for the occasion
with innumerable British and Allied flags."--_Liverpool Post_.

We are not anxiously awaiting a snapshot of Mr. BALFOUR in his latest
costume.

* * * * *

"The vessels are at present under construction by the Kawashi
Dockyard Company, Limited, of Kobe, and realised from £42 to
£42 per ton deadweight."--_Poverty Bay Herald_.

A careful calculation will show that the average cost was almost
exactly forty guineas.

* * * * *

"Several rhubord recipes have come in this week, so that the
reader who esquired for recipe for rhubard jelly is supplied
with this, and recipes for other rhubarb dainties as
well."--_Edmonton Journal_ (_Canada_).

If _John Gilpin_ were to "dine at Edmonton" (Canada) he would come in
for some nice new vegetables.

* * * * *

A PLACE OF ARMS.

[Inscribed by a humble member of the Inner Temple to the
Benchers of his Inn.]

I knew a garden green and fair,
Flanking our London river's tide,
And you would think, to breathe its air
And roam its virgin lawns beside,
All shimmering in their velvet fleece,
"Nothing can hurt this haunt of Peace."

No trespass marred that close retreat;
Privileged were the few that went
Pacing its walks with measured beat
On legal contemplation bent;
And Inner Templars used to say:
"How well our garden looks today!"

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Books | Photos | Paul Mutton | Thu 20th Nov 2008, 22:51