Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 103, October 1, 1892 by Various


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Page 2

Now girls whom you would scarce believe
Would not turn up their nose at soiling
Their dainty hands, to dewy eve
From early morn keep ever toiling.
There's ETHEL of the golden hair
Who flutters through existence gaily
(Her father is a millionnaire),
Hops hard and does her twelve hours daily.

Then pretty MAUD, with laughing eyes,
Who hardly knew what daily wage meant,
To everybody's great surprise
Proceeds to cut this, that engagement.
Amid the vines she daily goes,
And picks till weary fingers tingle,
The sweetest music now she knows
Is hearing hard-earned sovereigns jingle.

This latest move, it's very true,
Appears to be a rather rum thing,
But yet for idle hands to do
We know that Someone will find something.
Will fashionable hopping last?
Well, this it's safe to lay your cash on,
Before another year has passed
There'll be another female fashion.

* * * * *

VIVE LA RAIN DU BALLET � L'ALHAMBRA!--"Certainly," says MR. JOHN
HOLLINGSHEAD, "Ve've la rain. It comes pouring down on the stage, and
the people come pouring in to see it. I suppose," says he, "they'll
now call me 'The Wetter'un?" The ballet is very effective, not a drop
too much, and "not a drop in the business" in front of the house,
though there is, as is evident, on the stage. If Manager JOHN liked
to quote SHAKSPEARE with a difference, in his advertisements, he might
say, "With a hey, ho, the Wind and the Rain! For the Rain it raineth
every night!" For some time to come this show will be the raining
favourite at the Alhambra. By the way, the _Sheffield Telegraph_,
describing the alterations and improvements in front at the Alhambra,
wrote--"The ceiling has been bevelled with porous plasters so as to
hide the girders." We know that hand:--it's Our "Mrs. RAMSBOTHAM,"
and she "comes from Sheffield." However, "porous plasters" would be
another attraction at the Alhambra, or anywhere, as they certainly
ought to _draw_.

* * * * *

LADY GAY'S SELECTIONS.

_Mount Street, Grosvenor Square_.

DEAR MR. PUNCH,

Unlucky Leicester was even more unlucky than usual--and when the big
race was run last Wednesday, so thick was the rain, that the horses
could only be seen for the last half mile! Of course this made all
the difference to the horse I selected--_Windgall_--who finished
second;--as he only gives his _best_ performances _in public_, and
as he doubtless _knew he couldn't be seen_, he thought it was only a
private trial until he got close home, when his gallant effort was too
late to be of any use!--at least, this is how _I_ read the result of
the race, and who can know more about a horse than the racing-prophet,
I should like to know?

I was told by Sir WALTER GREENINGTON, that the public "tumbled over
each other" to back _Breach_, but I must say I didn't notice anything
of the sort, and it was not the kind of day anyone would choose for
a roll on the turf, the state of which was detrimental to any kind of
_Breach_!--The believers in "coincidences"--(of which I need hardly
say _I_ am one--a coincidence being a truly feminine reason for
backing a horse)--had no option but to back the winner, _Rusticus_;
as he drew the same berth he occupied in last year's race, which he
alsop--(I mean also)--won for Mr. HAMAR BASS!--_Stuart_ was a great
eleventh hour tip--(why _eleventh_ hour I wonder?--more than any
other--and who fixes the precise moment when the _eleventh_ hour
commences?)--but history tells us the STUARTS were mostly unreliable;
and though I am told he ran a "great horse"--I thought him rather on
the small side myself!

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