Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 103, October 1, 1892 by Various


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Page 14

Hail! Goddess of battle,
Yet hated of Ma(r)s,
How ceaseless their tattle
Of tumbles and scars!
Such warnings are vain,
For thy rites we prepare,
Youth is yearning again
In thy perils to share.

Broken limbs and black eyes,
May, perchance, be our lot;
But grant goals and ties
And we care not a jot.
Too sacred to name
With thy posts, ball, and field,
There is no winter game
To which thou canst yield.

* * * * *

NEW TRANSLATION--"VERY CHOICE ITALIAN,"--"_Sotto voce_;" i.e., in a
drunken tone of voice.

* * * * *

AN EN-NOBBLING SPECTACLE!

_BEING SOME ACCOUNT OF THE PRODIGAL DAUGHTER OF DRURY LANE._

CHAPTER I.--_THE TEA-URN OF THE HUNTER._

SIR JOHN HENRY NEVILLE WOODMERE was the most considerate of men, and
he had a very considerate family, and a large circle of considerate
acquaintances. He was obliging to the last degree, Among those he
knew, and to whom he owed a deep debt of gratitude (for they had
furnished him with an old family mansion, a stud of racers, and passes
for himself and circle to Paris) were AUGUSTE LE GRAND, and HENRI LE
PETTITT.

[Illustration: Voluptuary, carrying weight, winning the Great
Metropolitan Drury Lane Stakes. Everybody up.]

"My good friend," said HENRI, "your daughter is charming. She has been
well brought up, and has the finest sentiments; but it is necessary
that she should run away to Paris, and dodge the parson. Otherwise,
how could she be called _The Prodigal Daughter_?"

Sir JOHN saw the force of this reasoning, and consented.

"And stay," said AUGUSTE, "we must really have a good set, and you
must go a fox-hunting. You must have armour, and a breakfast, and all
of you must wear hunting-coats. And look here, we can't do without
flowers, and coats-of-arms, and open windows."

"But," objected Sir JOHN, "if I am going a fox-hunting, surely it
should be in the winter or spring. And how about the flowers?"

"You have got them from Nice," replied AUGUSTE.

So it was thus arranged. Sir JOHN's daughter, who was called ROSE
MILLWARD WOODMERE, eloped and broke her father's heart.

"But," exclaimed her bereaved parent, preparing to mount a horse that
was waiting for him on the lawn amongst the flower-beds, "although my
heart is breaking, I will show the world I am a true English gentleman
by starting off to head the chace!"

And he said this out of consideration for AUGUSTE and HENRI, because
he knew they wanted what is technically known as a Curtain. And by
this means he gave them one. And a good one too.

CHAPTER II.--_A LITTLE TRIP TO PARIS._

And then Sir JOHN and all his considerate family and acquaintances
went to Paris to stay at the Grand H�tel, which seemed to have been
surrendered to them (at convenient times) for their special use. Sir
JOHN was accompanied by a most useful villain, who showed the depth of
his depravity by wearing a moustache of the deepest dye. So that this
depth might be better known, he called himself DEEPWATER.

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Books | Photos | Paul Mutton | Tue 13th Jan 2026, 16:31