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Page 14
It may be law, but it is not just; nor in equity would, I believe, be
considered as the will and intention of Sir William. Never mind!
Thank God, you do not want any of his kindness; nor will he give you
justice.
I may fairly say all this; because my actions are different, even to a
person who has treated me so ill.
As to ----, I know the full extent of the obligation I owe him, and
he may be useful to me again; but I can never forget his unkindness to
you.
But, I guess, many reasons influenced his conduct, in bragging of his
riches, and my honourable poverty; but, as I have often said, and with
honest pride, what I have is my own; it never cost the widow a tear,
or the nation a farthing. I got what I have with my pure blood, from
the enemies of my country. Our house, my own Emma, is built upon a
solid foundation; and will last to us, when his house and lands may
belong to others than _his children_.
I would not have believed it, from any one but you! But, if ever I go
abroad again, matters shall be settled very differently.
I am working hard with Gibbs about Bronte, but the calls upon me are
very heavy. Next September, I shall be clear; I mean, September 1805.
I have wrote to both Acton and the Queen about you. I do not think she
likes Mr. Elliot; and, therefore, I wish she had never shewn him my
letters about you. We also know, that he has a card of his own to
play.
Dr. Scott, who is a good man--although, poor fellow! very often wrong
in the head--is going with Staines, in, the Cameleon, just to take
a peep at Naples and Palermo. I have introduced him to Acton, who is
very civil to every body from me.
The Admiralty proceedings towards me, you will know much sooner than
I shall. I hope they will do the thing, handsomely, and allow of my
return in the spring; but, I do not expect it.
I am very uneasy at your and Horatia being on the coast: for you
cannot move, if the French make the attempt; which, I am told, they
have done, and been repulsed. Pray God, it may be true!
I shall rejoice to hear you and Horatia are safe at Merton; and happy
shall I be, the day I join you. _Gannam Justem._
Gaetano is very grateful for your remembrance of him. Mr. Chevalier is
an excellent servant. William says, he has wrote twice; I suppose, he
thinks that enough.
This is written within three miles of the fleet in Toulon, who are
looking very tempting. Kind regards to Mrs. Cadogan, Charlotte, &c.
and compliments to all our joint friends; for they are no friends of
mine, who are not friends to Emma.
God bless you, again and again!
Captain Hardy has not been very well: and, I fancy, Admiral Murray
will not be sorry to see England; especially, since he has been
promoted * * * * * * * * * * * * * * he expects his flag may get up.
God bless you, my dearest Emma; and, be assured, I am ever most
faithfully your's.
----------
LETTER LIV.
Victory, September 29th, 1804.
This day, my dearest Emma, which gave me birth, I consider as more
fortunate than common days; as, by my coming into this world, it has
brought me so intimately acquainted with you, who my soul holds most
dear. I well know that you will keep it, and have my dear Horatia to
drink my health. Forty-six years of toil and trouble! How few more,
the common lot of mankind leads us to expect; and, therefore, it
is almost time to think of spending the few last years in peace and
quietness!
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