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Page 14
"Nay, Mr. Reynolds, if it be a secret, I would rather not have it in
keeping," answered Ella.
"It is a secret," returned Reynolds, solemnly, with his eyes cast down
in a dejected manner; "a secret, I would to Heaven I had not myself in
keeping! but hear it you must, Ella, for various reasons, from my lips;
and then we part--(his voice slightly faltered) we part--forever!"
"Forever!" gasped Ella, quickly, with a choking sensation, while her
features grew pale, and then suddenly flushed, and her work
unconsciously dropped from her hand. Then, as if ashamed of having
betrayed her feelings, she became confused, and endeavored to cover the
exposure by adding, with a forced laugh: "But really, Mr. Reynolds, I
must crave pardon for my silly behavior--but your manner of speaking,
somehow, startled me--and--and I--before I was aware--really, it was
very silly--indeed it was, and I pray you overlook it!"
"Were circumstances not as I have too much reason to fear they are,"
returned Reynolds, slowly, sadly, and impressively, with his eyes fixed
earnestly and even tenderly upon the other, "I would not exchange that
simple expression of yours, Ella, for a mine of gold. By that alone you
have spoken volumes, and told me what I already feared was true, but
hoped was otherwise. Nay, turn not your head away, Ella--dear Ella, if
you will allow me so to address you--it is better, under the
circumstances, that we speak plainly and understandingly, as the time of
our final separation draweth near. I fear that my manner and language
have hitherto too much expressed my feelings, and encouraged hopes in
you that can never be realized. Oh! Ella, if such be the case, I would,
for your dear sake, we had never met!--and the thought hereafter, that I
have caused you a pang, will add its weight of anguish to my already
bitter lot. The days that I have spent beneath this hospitable roof, and
in your sweet presence, are so many of bright sunshine, in a life of
cloud and storm; but will only serve, as I recall them, to make the
remainder, by contrast, seem more dark and dreary. From the first I
learned you were an orphan, and my sympathy was aroused in your behalf;
subsequently, I listened to your recital of grief, and trouble, and cold
treatment by the world--told in an artless manner--and in spite of me,
in spite of my struggles to the contrary, I discovered awakening in my
breast a feeling of a stronger nature. Had my wound permitted, I should
have torn myself from your presence then, with the endeavor, if such a
thing were possible, to forget you; but, alas! fate ordered otherwise,
and the consequence I fear will be to add sorrow to both. But one thing,
dear Ella, before I go further, let me ask: Can you, and will you
forgive me, for the manner in which I have conducted myself in your
company?"
"I have nothing to forgive; and had I, it should be forgiven," answered
Ella, sweetly, in a timid voice, her hands unconsciously toying with her
needle-work, and her face half averted, whereon could be traced the
suppressed workings of internal emotion.
"Thank you, Ella--thank you, for taking a weight from my heart. And now,
ere I proceed with what to both of us will prove a painful revelation,
let me make one request more--a foolish one I know--but one I trust you
will grant nevertheless."
"Name it," said Ella, timidly, as the other paused.
"It is, simply, that in judging me by the evidence I shall give against
myself, you will lean strongly to the side of mercy; and, when I am
gone, think of me rather as an unfortunate than criminal being."
"You alarm me, Mr. Reynolds, with such a request!" answered Ella,
looking up to the other with a pale, anxious countenance. "I know not
the meaning of it! and, as I said before, I would rather not have your
secret in keeping--the more so, as you say the revelation will be a
painful one to both."
For a moment the young man paused, as though undecided as to his reply,
while his countenance expressed a look of mortified regret really
painful to behold--so much so, that Ella, moved by this to a feeling of
compassion, said:
"I perceive my answer wounds your feelings--I meant no harm; go on with
your story; I will listen, and endeavor to concede all you desire."
"Thank you--again thank you!" returned the other, energetically, with
emotion. "I will make my narrative brief as possible."
Saying which, he entered the apartment where the other was sitting, and
seating himself a few feet distant from her, after some little
hesitation, as if to bring his resolution to the point, thus began:
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