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Page 23
"Thank you very kindly, Doctor."
And Israel departed for the Pont Neuf. Succeeding in his errand thither,
he returned to Dr. Franklin, and found that worthy envoy waiting his
attendance at a meal, which, according to the Doctor's custom, had been
sent from a neighboring restaurant. There were two covers; and without
attendance the host and guest sat down. There was only one principal
dish, lamb boiled with green peas. Bread and potatoes made up the rest.
A decanter-like bottle of uncolored glass, filled with some uncolored
beverage, stood at the venerable envoy's elbow.
"Let me fill your glass," said the sage.
"It's white wine, ain't it?" said Israel.
"White wine of the very oldest brand; I drink your health in it, my
honest friend."
"Why, it's plain water," said Israel, now tasting it.
"Plain water is a very good drink for plain men," replied the wise man.
"Yes," said Israel, "but Squire Woodcock gave me perry, and the other
gentleman at White Waltham gave me port, and some other friends have
given me brandy."
"Very good, my honest friend; if you like perry and port and brandy,
wait till you get back to Squire Woodcock, and the gentleman at White
Waltham, and the other friends, and you shall drink perry and port and
brandy. But while you are with me, you will drink plain water."
"So it seems, Doctor."
"What do you suppose a glass of port costs?"
"About three pence English, Doctor."
"That must be poor port. But how much good bread will three pence
English purchase?"
"Three penny rolls, Doctor."
"How many glasses of port do you suppose a man may drink at a meal?"
"The gentleman at White Waltham drank a bottle at a dinner."
"A bottle contains just thirteen glasses--that's thirty-nine pence,
supposing it poor wine. If something of the best, which is the only sort
any sane man should drink, as being the least poisonous, it would be
quadruple that sum, which is one hundred and fifty-six pence, which is
seventy-eight two-penny loaves. Now, do you not think that for one man
to swallow down seventy-two two-penny rolls at one meal is rather
extravagant business?"
"But he drank a bottle of wine; he did not eat seventy-two two-penny
rolls, Doctor."
"He drank the money worth of seventy-two loaves, which is drinking the
loaves themselves; for money is bread."
"But he has plenty of money to spare, Doctor."
"To have to spare, is to have to give away. Does the gentleman give much
away?"
"Not that I know of, Doctor."
"Then he thinks he has nothing to spare; and thinking he has nothing to
spare, and yet prodigally drinking down his money as he does every day,
it seems to me that that gentleman stands self-contradicted, and
therefore is no good example for plain sensible folks like you and me to
follow. My honest friend, if you are poor, avoid wine as a costly
luxury; if you are rich, shun it as a fatal indulgence. Stick to plain
water. And now, my good friend, if you are through with your meal, we
will rise. There is no pastry coming. Pastry is poisoned bread. Never
eat pastry. Be a plain man, and stick to plain things. Now, my friend, I
shall have to be private until nine o'clock in the evening, when I shall
be again at your service. Meantime you may go to your room. I have
ordered the one next to this to be prepared for you. But you must not be
idle. Here is Poor Richard's Almanac, which, in view of our late
conversation, I commend to your earnest perusal. And here, too, is a
Guide to Paris, an English one, which you can read. Study it well, so
that when you come back from England, if you should then have an
opportunity to travel about Paris, to see its wonders, you will have all
the chief places made historically familiar to you. In this world, men
must provide knowledge before it is wanted, just as our countrymen in
New England get in their winter's fuel one season, to serve them the
next."
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