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Page 29
Some social workers even advance the heretical doctrine that support
secured through the court from a cruel and dangerous husband does not
make up for the harm he may do and the anxiety he causes. If to force
him into periodical payments means that he will be continually excited
into seeking out and "beating up" his offending wife, the support she is
able to extort from him comes high. It is sometimes necessary to move a
family to new quarters and actually help them to hide from the pursuit
of one of these insistent gentry. Even if we have some doubt that the
wife's protestations of fear or aversion are genuine, we should hardly
take the risk of revealing her address if she wishes it kept secret.
This precaution applies not only to the man but to anyone whom we
suspect of being interested on his behalf. A district secretary
continued to refuse the address of his family to a dangerous epileptic
deserter who threatened the secretary's life and, in the opinion of
physicians who examined him, was likely to carry out his threat.
The committee on difficult cases in a family social agency voted to
refuse to accept voluntary payments from a thoroughly worthless
deserter and transmit them to his wife whose address he was seeking
to learn, on the theory that it was better for her and her children
to be entirely quit of him, and that nothing would make him realize
the finality of the decision more than to refuse his money. The
agency, it was felt, would be in better position to protect the wife
and children if it refused to act as post office for the man.
The same consideration might apply in questions of extradition. When the
whereabouts of a deserter of this type has been discovered in another
city a safe distance away, it may be wiser to sacrifice the money he
might be forced to contribute than to have him brought within arm's
length of his wife and family.
A prime difficulty in dealing with the undesirable husband who is
willing to come home is often the attitude of the wife. Some of the
causes at work when a woman takes her husband back have been discussed
earlier.[35] Unfortunately, hopelessly bad husbands profit by them as
well as hopeful ones. The policy of niggardly relief to a deserted wife
has undoubtedly been responsible for many of these unfortunate attempts
to patch up a life together. "She was worn down by her efforts to keep
the household going, and, when the faint chance of her husband's
supporting her appeared, she took it" is the explanation given by a case
worker of one unpromising reconciliation, and she goes on to say of this
and another similar story: "With both of these it seems that enough
money put into the household to enable these mothers to be with their
children more and to keep up a reasonable standard of health for
themselves might have resulted in their refusing to take back their
husbands.... Our records seem to show that inadequate relief, making
life fairly hard for the deserted mother, does not tend to keep the man
from returning or others from deserting."
The story of Mrs. Francis shows the effect of adequate relief in
strengthening her decision not to take her husband back. He had been
a chronic deserter for years, had drank heavily, been foul-mouthed
and abusive, while failing to support the family when at home, so
that Mrs. Francis had only a little harder time when he was away.
His last desertion took place when she was near confinement. Owing
to her condition, the church and a family agency co-operated in an
unusually generous relief policy. This was in a state which gave
mother's aid to deserted wives. After about a year this was secured
for her, and the health of woman and children was built up and the
home improved. Then Mr. Francis sent ambassadors in the form of
relatives, with whom Mrs. Francis refused to treat. He later
appeared himself, but she would not consider taking him back. He
escaped before he could be brought into court. As he has now been
gone over two years, it seems that her stand is a genuine one.
On the other hand, when the man has been found and interviewed, he may
show signs of repentance, and the earlier history, together with the
opinion which the social worker has been able to form about the
character of man and woman may make it seem that a reconciliation should
be encouraged. A further question then arises: Shall the man return to
his home at once or first undergo a probationary period?
The quick reconciliation has been a feature of the work in domestic
relations courts from the beginning of the movement. In connection with
some courts there are special officers whose duty it is to prevail upon
couples who come to the court to patch up their differences and give
each other another trial. This would be an admirable procedure if the
couples to receive such treatment were selected by a process of careful
investigation, and if probationary supervision were continued long
enough to ascertain whether permanent results could be secured. As it
actually works out it is a little like expecting a wound to heal "by
first intention" when it has not been cleaned out thoroughly, and when
no attention is being paid to subsequent dressings.
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