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Page 30
However, the next morning, the 30th of December, the wind being brisk
and easterly, the Oeolus frigate, which was to escort the convoy,
made a signal for sailing. All the ships then got up their anchors;
and, before any of my friends had an opportunity to come off to my
relief, to my inexpressible anguish our ship had got under way. What
tumultuous emotions agitated my soul when the convoy got under sail,
and I a prisoner on board, now without hope! I kept my swimming eyes
upon the land in a state of unutterable grief; not knowing what to do,
and despairing how to help myself. While my mind was in this situation
the fleet sailed on, and in one day's time I lost sight of the
wished-for land. In the first expressions of my grief I reproached my
fate, and wished I had never been born. I was ready to curse the tide
that bore us, the gale that wafted my prison, and even the ship that
conducted us; and I called on death to relieve me from the horrors I
felt and dreaded, that I might be in that place
"Where slaves are free, and men oppress no more.
Fool that I was, inur'd so long to pain,
To trust to hope, or dream of joy again.
* * * * *
Now dragg'd once more beyond the western main,
To groan beneath some dastard planter's chain;
Where my poor countrymen in bondage wait
The long enfranchisement of ling'ring fate:
Hard ling'ring fate! while, ere the dawn of day,
Rous'd by the lash they go their cheerless way;
And as their souls with shame and anguish burn,
Salute with groans unwelcome morn's return,
And, chiding ev'ry hour the slow-pac'd sun,
Pursue their toils till all his race is run.
No eye to mark their suff'rings with a tear;
No friend to comfort, and no hope to cheer:
Then, like the dull unpity'd brutes, repair
To stalls as wretched, and as coarse a fare;
Thank heaven one day of mis'ry was o'er,
Then sink to sleep, and wish to wake no more[P]."
The turbulence of my emotions however naturally gave way to calmer
thoughts, and I soon perceived what fate had decreed no mortal on
earth could prevent. The convoy sailed on without any accident, with a
pleasant gale and smooth sea, for six weeks, till February, when one
morning the Oeolus ran down a brig, one of the convoy, and she
instantly went down and was ingulfed in the dark recesses of the
ocean. The convoy was immediately thrown into great confusion till it
was daylight; and the Oeolus was illumined with lights to prevent
any farther mischief. On the 13th of February 1763, from the
mast-head, we descried our destined island Montserrat; and soon after
I beheld those
"Regions of sorrow, doleful shades, where peace
And rest can rarely dwell. Hope never comes
That comes to all, but torture without end
Still urges."
At the sight of this land of bondage, a fresh horror ran through all
my frame, and chilled me to the heart. My former slavery now rose in
dreadful review to my mind, and displayed nothing but misery, stripes,
and chains; and, in the first paroxysm of my grief, I called upon
God's thunder, and his avenging power, to direct the stroke of death
to me, rather than permit me to become a slave, and be sold from lord
to lord.
In this state of my mind our ship came to an anchor, and soon after
discharged her cargo. I now knew what it was to work hard; I was made
to help to unload and load the ship. And, to comfort me in my distress
in that time, two of the sailors robbed me of all my money, and ran
away from the ship. I had been so long used to an European climate
that at first I felt the scorching West India sun very painful, while
the dashing surf would toss the boat and the people in it frequently
above high water mark. Sometimes our limbs were broken with this, or
even attended with instant death, and I was day by day mangled and
torn.
About the middle of May, when the ship was got ready to sail for
England, I all the time believing that Fate's blackest clouds were
gathering over my head, and expecting their bursting would mix me with
the dead, Captain Doran sent for me ashore one morning, and I was told
by the messenger that my fate was then determined. With fluttering
steps and trembling heart I came to the captain, and found with him
one Mr. Robert King, a quaker, and the first merchant in the place.
The captain then told me my former master had sent me there to be
sold; but that he had desired him to get me the best master he could,
as he told him I was a very deserving boy, which Captain Doran said he
found to be true; and if he were to stay in the West Indies he would
be glad to keep me himself; but he could not venture to take me to
London, for he was very sure that when I came there I would leave him.
I at that instant burst out a crying, and begged much of him to take
me to England with him, but all to no purpose. He told me he had got
me the very best master in the whole island, with whom I should be as
happy as if I were in England, and for that reason he chose to let him
have me, though he could sell me to his own brother-in-law for a great
deal more money than what he got from this gentleman. Mr. King, my new
master, then made a reply, and said the reason he had bought me was on
account of my good character; and, as he had not the least doubt of my
good behaviour, I should be very well off with him. He also told me he
did not live in the West Indies, but at Philadelphia, where he was
going soon; and, as I understood something of the rules of
arithmetic, when we got there he would put me to school, and fit me
for a clerk. This conversation relieved my mind a little, and I left
those gentlemen considerably more at ease in myself than when I came
to them; and I was very grateful to Captain Doran, and even to my old
master, for the character they had given me; a character which I
afterwards found of infinite service to me. I went on board again, and
took leave of all my shipmates; and the next day the ship sailed. When
she weighed anchor I went to the waterside and looked at her with a
very wishful and aching heart, and followed her with my eyes and tears
until she was totally out of sight. I was so bowed down with grief
that I could not hold up my head for many months; and if my new master
had not been kind to me I believe I should have died under it at last.
And indeed I soon found that he fully deserved the good character
which Captain Doran had given me of him; for he possessed a most
amiable disposition and temper, and was very charitable and humane. If
any of his slaves behaved amiss he did not beat or use them ill, but
parted with them. This made them afraid of disobliging him; and as he
treated his slaves better than any other man on the island, so he was
better and more faithfully served by them in return. By his kind
treatment I did at last endeavour to compose myself; and with
fortitude, though moneyless, determined to face whatever fate had
decreed for me. Mr. King soon asked me what I could do; and at the
same time said he did not mean to treat me as a common slave. I told
him I knew something of seamanship, and could shave and dress hair
pretty well; and I could refine wines, which I had learned on
shipboard, where I had often done it; and that I could write, and
understood arithmetic tolerably well as far as the Rule of Three. He
then asked me if I knew any thing of gauging; and, on my answering
that I did not, he said one of his clerks should teach me to gauge.
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