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Page 12
Edward Claire felt, while in the presence of his young wife, that she
often looked into his face with more than usual earnestness. This not
only embarrassed but slightly fretted him, and led him to speak once
in a way that brought tears to her eyes.
Not a minute longer than necessary did Claire remain at home. The fact
that his employer had desired him to return to the store as quickly
as possible, was an all-sufficient reason for his unusual hurry to get
away.
The moment the door closed upon him, his wife burst into tears. On
her bosom lay a most oppressive weight, and in her mind was a vague,
troubled sense of approaching evil. She felt that there was danger in
the path of her husband; but of its nature she could divine little
or nothing. All day her dream had haunted her; and now it reproduced
itself in her imagination with painful distinctness. Vainly she strove
to drive it from her thoughts; it would not be gone. Slowly the hours
wore on for her, until the deepening twilight brought the period
when her husband was to return again. To this return her mind looked
forward with an anxiety that could not be repressed.
The dreaded meeting with his wife over, Claire thought with less
repugnance of what he had done, and was rather inclined to justify
than condemn himself.
"It's the way of the world," so he argued; "and unless I do as the
world does, I must remain where I am--at the bottom of the ladder. But
why should I stay below, while all around me are struggling upward? As
for what preachers and moralists call strictly fair dealing, it may be
all well enough in theory, pleasant to talk about, and all that; but
it won't do in practice, as the world now is. Where each is grasping
all that he can lay his hands on, fair or foul, one must scramble
with the rest, or get nothing. That is so plain that none can deny the
proposition. So, Edward Claire, if you wish to rise above your present
poor condition, if you wish to get rich, like your enterprising
neighbours, you must do as they do. If I go in for a lamb, I might as
well take a sheep: the morality of the thing is the same. If I take a
large slice off of a customer, why shall not a portion of that slice
be mine; ay, the whole of it, if I choose to make the appropriation?
All Jasper can fairly ask, is a reasonable profit: if I, by my
address, get more than this, surely I may keep a part thereof. Who
shall say nay?"
Justifying himself by these and similar false reasonings, the young
man thrust aside the better suggestions, from which he was at first
inclined to retrace the false step he had taken; and wilfully shutting
his eyes, resolved to go forward in his evil and dangerous course.
During the afternoon of that day a larger number of customers than
usual were in, and Claire was very busily occupied. He made three or
four large sales, and was successful in getting several dollars in
excess of fair profit from one not very well skilled in prices. In
making an entry of this particular transaction in the memorandum
sales-book, the figures recorded were three dollars less than the
actual amount received. So, on this, the first day of the young
man's lapse from honesty, he had appropriated the sum of eight
dollars--nearly equal to his entire week's salary! For such a recent
traveller in this downward road, how rapid had already become his
steps!
Evening found him again alone, musing and debating with himself, ere
locking up the store and returning home. The excitement of business
being over, his thoughts flowed in a calmer current; and the stillness
of the deserted room gave to his feelings a hue of sobriety. He was
not altogether satisfied with himself. How could he be? No man ever
was satisfied with himself, when seclusion and silence found him after
his first departure from the right way. Ah, how little is there
in worldly possessions, be it large or small, to compensate for a
troubled, self-accusing spirit! how little to throw in the balance
against the heavy weight of conscious villany!
How tenderly, how truly, how devotedly had Edward Claire loved the
young wife of his bosom, since the hour the pulses of their spirits
first beat in joyful unity! How eager had he ever been to turn his
face homeward when the shadows of evening began to fall! But now he
lingered--lingered, though all the business of the day was over. The
thought of his wife created no quick impulse to be away. He felt more
like shunning her presence. He even for a time indulged a motion of
anger toward her for what he mentally termed her morbid sensitiveness
in regard to others' right--her dreamy ideal of human perfection.
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