|
Main
- books.jibble.org
My Books
- IRC Hacks
Misc. Articles
- Meaning of Jibble
- M4 Su Doku
- Computer Scrapbooking
- Setting up Java
- Bootable Java
- Cookies in Java
- Dynamic Graphs
- Social Shakespeare
External Links
- Paul Mutton
- Jibble Photo Gallery
- Jibble Forums
- Google Landmarks
- Jibble Shop
- Free Books
- Intershot Ltd
|
books.jibble.org
Previous Page
| Next Page
Page 14
"Cold mutton for dinner?" she replies dully.
"Yes--now the weather's getting warmer it's much nicer. It will save
coal too. Just the mutton and a salad. No potatoes."
"No potatoes!" Surely the skies are falling, says her accent. You have
been eating mashed potatoes, done with cream and a dash of beetroot in
it, with cold meat, at lunch, for years.
"No, no--we mustn't eat potatoes any more. Haven't you heard?"
"I heard something about it, yes. But aren't we to eat those we've
got?"
"No, we must give them away. Remember, just cold mutton and salad.
And no toast." You are getting more confidence. "Never toast any
more"--another light laugh--"never any more!"
And at dinner there are the cold mutton and salad all right; but to
your horror you are asked first to eat a slice of salmon with two
boiled potatoes.
"Good heavens!" you say, "what's this?"
"Well, Sir [or 'M], the fishmonger called, and as I felt sure the cold
meat couldn't be enough for you...."
Summoning all your courage you protest again, adding, "And another
thing, Mrs. Legion; you mustn't make any more pastry. The flour can't
be spared. It's not only bread we've got to be careful about, but
everything made with flour."
"Then what's the flour for?"
"That's all right. But it's got to be saved."
"I don't understand, Sir [or 'M]. I can't see why it shouldn't be used
if we have it."
"No. The idea is that every one should go without flour as much as
possible, and then there will be more and it will last longer. More
for other people."
"My duty is to this house, Sir [or 'M]. But the flour's so coarse and
brown it's hardly worth using, anyhow. I never saw such stuff. It's a
scandal. But I'm truly sorry if I've disappointed you. All I want to
do is my duty."
"You have, Mrs. Legion, you have. You've been splendid; but the time
has come now to eat less and to eat more simply. Is that clear?"
"Well, I hear you right enough, Sir [or 'M], but I can't say I
understand it. War or no war, I don't hold with folks being starved."
And there it breaks off, only, of course, to begin again.
That is Mrs. Legion!--one of the hardest nuts that Lord DEVONPORT has
to crack. She doesn't hold with Lords poking their noses into people's
kitchens, anyway. That's not her idea of how Lords ought to behave.
Lords not only ought to be gentlefolk, and be fed and waited upon and
live in affluent idleness, but super-gentlefolk. But then she doesn't
hold with many modern things. She doesn't (for one) hold with the War.
* * * * *
[Illustration: _Sergeant-Major_. "AIN'T YOU GOT THAT BIVVY BUILT YET,
ME LAD? GAWD BLESS MY SOUL, I COULD HA' KNITTED IT IN HALF THE TIME."]
* * * * *
AT THE PLAY.
"WANTED A HUSBAND."
You will easily guess that a comedy (or farce) in which a woman is
reduced to advertising in the Press for a husband belongs to the
ante-bellum era, before the glad eye of the flapper became a permanent
feature of the landscape. Indeed Mr. CYRIL HARCOURT'S play might
belong to just any year since the time when women first began to write
those purple tales of passion that are so bad for the morals of the
servants' hall. It was simply to get copy for this kind of stuff that
_Mabel Vere_ (most improbably pretty in the person of Miss GLADYS
COOPER) advertised for a husband, for this post had already been
assigned to the dullest and stuffiest of _fianc�s_. I dare not
think how the theme might have been treated in French hands, but Mr.
HARCOURT is very firm about the proprieties. My only fear was that the
gallery might mistake his rather second-rate people for gentlefolk.
In what kind of club, I wonder, do members reply to matrimonial
advertisements and make bets about the result of their applications?
I should be sorry to think that anybody attributes such conduct to the
_habitu�s_ of the Athen�um.
Previous Page
| Next Page
|
|