Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 152, May 16, 1917. by Various


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Page 12

That none of the Nationalists should have addressed the House was
perhaps less due to their constitutional reticence than to the
depressing effect of the South Longford election, where their nominee
was defeated by the Sinn Fein candidate--one MCGUINNESS, and evidently
a stout fellow. But it is odd to find that the debate was conducted
without the assistance of Messrs. BILLING, PRINGLE and HOGGE. Their
eloquent silence was a protest, no doubt, against the eviction of the
reporters. Mr. CHURCHILL was probably suffering equal anguish,
but with patriotic self-sacrifice he refused to deprive his
fellow-legislators of the privilege of hearing once again his views on
the conduct of War.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Mrs. Smith_ (_to Mr. Smith, who has just been examined
by Army Medical Board_). "WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY TO YER?"

_Mr. Smith_. "'E SEZ TO ME, 'YOU'VE GOT A STIGMA AN' A CONGENIAL
SQUINT.'"]

* * * * *

JILL-OF-ALL-TRADES AND MISTRESS OF MANY.

[_The Daily Chronicle_, writing on women farmers, quotes the
tribute of HUTTON, the historian, to a Derbyshire lady who
died at Matlock in 1854: "She undertakes any kind of manual
labour, as holding the plough, driving the team, thatching
the barn, using the flail; but her chief avocation is
breaking horses at a guinea per week. She is fond of Pope and
Shakespeare, is a self-taught and capable instrumentalist, and
supports the bass viol in Matlock Church."]

Though in the good old-fashioned days
The feminine factotum rarely
Was honoured with a crown of bays
When she had won it fairly;
She did emerge at times like one
For manual work a perfect glutton,
Blue-stocking half, half Amazon,
As chronicled by HUTTON.

But now you'll find her counterpart
In almost every English village--
A mistress of the arduous art
Of scientific tillage,
Who cheerfully resigns the quest
Of all that makes a woman charming,
And shows an even greater zest
For gardening and farming.

She used to petrify her dons;
She was a most efficient bowler;
But now she's baking barley scones
To help the FOOD CONTROLLER;
Good _Mrs. Beeton_ she devours,
And not the dialogues of PLATO,
And sets above the Cult of Flowers
The Cult of the Potato.

The studious maid whose classic brow
Was high with conscious pride of learning
Now grooms the pony, milks the cow,
And takes a hand at churning;
And one I know, whose music had
Done credit to her educators,
Has sold her well-beloved "Strad"
To purchase incubators!

The object of this humble lay
Is not to minimize the glory
Of women of an earlier day
Whose deeds are shrined in story;
'Tis only to extol the grit
Of clever girls--and none work harder--
Who daily do their toilsome "bit"
To stock the nation's larder.

* * * * *

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Books | Photos | Paul Mutton | Wed 30th Apr 2025, 8:34